Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Nic at Night
Nicodemus. I wonder if there is anyone in the narratives of Jesus earthly ministry that thought so hard about what it would mean to follow Jesus. We get hints along the way that he followed from a distance, that when Jesus died he was part of the group that provided a burial and after Pentecost became an ardent follower. My impression is that when he came to Jesus one night and sought answers to his questions about Jesus he was asking his own questions. I think he was weary of Pharisaism and saw in Jesus the possibility that God was seeking us because he loves us rather than keeping us at a distance because we are not holy enough. I think he understood that this would mean leaving the things he had built his life on. The things that had defined him so long. I think Nicodemus understood what it would mean to follow. He knew what the cost would be for a member of the Sanhedrin to be numbered among the followers of this radical rabbi. So he followed from a distance. I wonder what that was like for him. Or do I know what that is like more than I want to admit. I still find myself wanting to choose those things I welcome about being a follower and what things I would rather not be changed to accept. I hear ya Nic! My hope is in the love of God for all the world being great enough to welcome me with my questions. And yours?
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There is so much here in your few words that I almost don't know how to respond other than to say...yes!...I get this Nicodemus guy. I think Nicodemus was trying hard to balance both worlds, to be responsible to his community but still do the hard thinking; I'm sure that on some level he felt ensnared. I've been talking to my students this week about asking questions: that those who do so are difficult to trick into being followers, and instead become leaders themselves. The truth is that asking questions remains dangerous to institutions, and perhaps a community can know it's gone wrong when it doesn't ASK for questions from its members, when it's more interested in dictating learning than fostering an environment in which members own their own growth.
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